07.11.04 | 8:02 p.m.
So, I had written a nice introduction here. Then I changed my mind and decided to make it shorter. Then I changed my mind again and decided it would be best in FAQ format. No one's asked any questions yet, but here are the answers to the questions I imagine you would have asked had you actually asked any questions.
Q: What's your name?
A: Amanda.
Q: How old are you?
A: My archives are organized by age, so just go look there.
Q: Where do you live?
A: California. The weather's okay, if you're into that kind of thing.
Q: What are your hobbies?
A: Writing, drawing, sacrificing small animals to Lucifer. Drinking. Teaching children to swim.
Q: Are you a gawth?
A: No.
Q: ... Are you a punk rawker?
A: No.
Q: ... Are you sXe?
A: What is up with you and labels? Jesus.
Q: Do you even know what sXe is?
A: Sexy. ;D
Q: Can I talk to you?
A: Alright, alright. Email or IM me.
Q: I want to talk to you, but you're mean and scary and I don't know how to act. What's a good rule of thumb?
A: Don't be a jerk and don't be stupid. Don't make a bunch of assumptions about who I am. If you want to know something, just ask. I'm pretty open about this stuff. I mean, I do keep a fucking online diary.
Q: I want to talk to you but I don't really know what to say. What do you like to talk about?
A: I like talking about pretty much anything, literature, politics, art (more actually making art than the history of art, though). Music, movies, television (not so much television as Lost, since it's the only show I watch regularly), the internet. I like talking about crime and current events and food. Clouds, liquid, mirrors, the color orange, psychology, science, language, anything!
Q: That seems pretty selfish, for us to have to IM you and entertain you and everything.
A: Well, it won't be so one-sided if you actually IM me. I like talking to people and finding out what they like.
Q: What if I accidentally say something that upsets you?
A: You'll figure it out pretty quickly. I'm not one for subtlety.
Q: So, are you male or female?
A: Were you not paying attention to the first question?
Q: ... So then why do you refer to an ex girlfriend?
A: Because I had a girlfriend.
Q: But... you're a girl...
A: Yes.
Q: That would mean... that... wait, what?
A: I think the phrase you're looking for is sexually curious.
Q: ...
A: I make out with other girls, too! On a regular basis!
Q: Um... anyway. Why don't you have any diaries listed as favorites?
A: I do. Just on another diary.
Q: ... Why?
A: I don't want people adding me to their lists just so I'll add them to mine. I hate that.
Q: Are you going to get pissed off if I add you as a favorite?
A: Of course not. I love it when people add me. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Q: Will you link my diary? Pretty, pretty please? I linked yours, so you should link mine!
A: If you've linked my diary and I haven't added you back, chances are I'm not going to. I look at everyone who adds me and if I like them, I add them. If you really think your diary is something I'll like, send me a note about pretty much anything and I'll end up looking at your diary again. Don't say something like "You should look at my diary" because then I won't.
Q: You didn't link me back and now my feelings are hurt and it's NOT FAIR BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE YOUR DIARY.
A: What are you, twelve? I don't like most diaries that link me, don't take it personally, it's just that mostly the only angst I can handle is my own.
Q: Hey, so, I really like your writing. Could I maybe put it up on my own diary?
A: No.
Q: Well what if I link you? And tell people it's yours?
A: No.
Q: Well how about I just rewrite your entries using shittier metaphors and grammar and spelling? Then technically the new version is mine and you can't do anything about it NEENER NEENER.
A: www.whatiscopyright.org. Not so much. I don't even understand why you would want to in the first place, my writing sucks, but this has actually been an issue three separate times now.
Q: Well what if I just use your layout? Is that okay?
A: No. There are lots of layout places that will make you much prettier layouts for free. Fuck!
Q: Who are you reffering to in... well, pretty much all of your entries?
A: Most of them are my best friend. Who I am in love with.
Q: Why don't you find something more interesting to write about?
A: Suck my diiiick.
Q: Your diary is lame.
A: Good question.
Q: Why did you pick amazinfuckup for your username?
A: Amazing Fuck Up. Not like it was a hard leap to make. Whatever. I like it mostly because it's sort of ironic. Fuck ups aren't amazing. Well, not usually. I'm a fuck up and I rock.
Q: Why is all of your writing so depressing? You said you were optimistic.
A: I am optimistic, just not here. This diary serves a few purposes, one of which happens to be to get bad things out of myself, mostly so in real life I can skip and pick flowers and dance in the grass.
Q: Why are you so bitter?
A: I'm not really, anymore.
Q: Why do you explain so little?
A: Because I don't need to explain. Actually, the fact that I write only a couple of sentances to describe something "huge" that happened to me is based loosely on an idea I read about in Hannibal. See, the good doctor organizes his memories inside of his head with something called a mind castle, or a memory castle, or something like that. I can't quite remember because it's been quite some time since I read it. Anyway, it's this imaginary castle inside of one's head that one visualizes. One "creates" different rooms, and inside of the rooms, one keeps "objects", and each object brings back a seperate memory. I do that with my diary entries. Each sentance is an object, and relieves a memory for me. Sometimes I will write a great deal about a memory and sometimes I won't. Either way, fuck you, it's my diary, stop complaining.
Q: Why don't you put up any pictures of yourself? I know you can because I saw that one entry with all your drawings. Which suck, by the way.
A: Thanks for that, I guess. I don't put up any pictures because people have a bias based on how good you look. If I look like a goth, you'll think my writing is whiny and unoriginal. If I'm sorta cute, you'll generally think my writing is better and more intelligent. If I'm ugly, you'll think I'm untalented and my work is contrived. Which it is. But the point is, I want you to judge the writing itself, not me or what I look like or anything else. Even if the bias is in my favor, I don't want it.
Q: What's the deal with "your kids"? Are you pregnant or something?
A: I work as a swim instructor as of April 2007. I've found I really like teaching kids.
Q: I thought you hated kids.
A: I did too, actually. But I'm finding I really like this. I'm changing my major from psychology to human development. We'll see where that takes me.
Q: What's with your "autistic kid"?
A: He's a seven year old boy that I teach, I've been teaching him for three or four months now. And he's basically my favorite student.
Q: What was his name? Little Rock? What's with that?
A: I need to call him something in this diary. As of March 2008 I also have another little autistic boy, four and a half years old. His name is God's Judge.
Q: I don't get why you're talking about autistic kids all the goddamn time.
A: Honestly, me neither. But they make me really happy and I find they're the most enjoyable part of my Saturdays. I'm thinking maybe I wanna work with autistic kids as a career.
Q: Your layout is boring. Why don't you do something more interesting with it?
A: See above. I find that a lot of people spend time dressing up their diary and adding all this unnecessary crap, and that's all fine and dandy, but it's not my thing.
Q: Can I read your diary even though I kind of suck at English?
A: Well, you can, but you're going to miss a lot of stuff. Sometimes I reference literature, or make plays-on-words, or fuck around with clichés, and if you aren't familiar with that stuff then you're just not going to understand some of what I'm talking about. You'll get the gist, though. Just know that that's not all there is.
Q: Well, can I read your diary if I'm fucking stupid?
A: Ah. No.
Q: Can I make a bunch of assumptions about your life?
A: I'd really rather you didn't. You guys should probably know that what I give you here is not a complete picture of my life, it's bits and pieces strung together. I'm not going to sit here and write entries like, "Today Sally stopped talking to me because I said this and she said that and it was a pretty stupid thing of her to say because she's a dumb whore and after that I walked home and it took me like twenty minutes because this dog totally got in my way and I was like what the fuck dog, hurry up and it was all, 'Woof!' like, what a bitch, and then..." because honestly, who cares. I don't even care. That's why I don't write it down. I don't usually explain my relationships with people either, so there's a lot missing there too.
Q: Can I give you advice on your life?
A: Unless I've asked for it specifically, I'd rather you didn't.
Q: Well I think you're an attention whore.
A: Yeah.
Q: No, like, you're totally stupid and shallow.
A: I could have told you that.
Q: Why are you still a virgin? Isn't that hella weird?
A: Not if you've seen the boys I've dated. Also, as of like early February 2008, No longer a virgin! Woo!
Q: Wait, what? Who'd you lose it to?
A: This pretty amazing dude I've talked about, The Veil.
Q: Why's he called The Veil? That's a pretty stupid name.
A: Because I feel that in a lot of ways, I can hide behind him. Or inside of him.
Q: Well, what's he like?
A: Awesome.
Q: Go kill yourself.
A: Yes.
Q: Why are you answering questions when no one's actually asked any?
A: Because I'm arrogant and like to believe that somebody cares. This is pretty much just a forum for me to bitch anyway.
That's enough Q & A for one day. If you decide there's something you'd like to ask me, leave a note or something. And remember kids, say no to drugs.
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